You know, life really does have your back. All we need to do is observe and make note. To remind ourselves that with the bad comes good in so many ways.
Recently, I had an appointment with an orthopedist that left me feeling ashamed and humiliated. I have an old injury to my lower back and was following the advice of a practitioner to see a specialist.
But the doctor, upon seeing that I was a relatively healthy, middle-aged woman, treated me like I just wanted attention and was wasting his time as he barely looked at the x-rays I had painstakingly remembered to bring with me (AS REQUESTED). He barely listened, barely cared, and his physical examination was patronizingly brief.
We live remotely and my round trip drive to see this specialist was 4 hours. In addition, the doctor's office made me wait 1 hour, fill out 23 pages of inquiries, sign several documents and then made me wait an additional 20 minutes in the examination room. Was I angry or impatient? Not at all. Actually, I was pleasantly calm as I awaited a good discussion with this specialist.
But in the course of the barely 2 minutes this specialist gave me, he managed to stick a knife into old mental wounds many of us women have when it comes to healthcare; that our needs don't matter, our lives don't matter and nothing we have to say, especially about our bodies, is valid. I was enraged and yet, I did nothing, said nothing. I even ponied up to the patronizing tests this doctor had me do to prove I was a wasting his time. All this, while his intern observed proudly.
What I wanted to say to this man was so vile I can't repeat it on this post. But I wanted his intern to know one thing - not to act like the jerk he was listening to. To remind him that every patient has a need and that empathy and compassion matter. Did I say that? No. No, I just hurriedly grabbed my things and scurried out of the room as the doctor looked on with impatience.
The rest of my day was laced with those 2 minutes. Laced with anger for not having done something, said something, stood up for myself. The cloud of shame from that appointment only thickened the more I thought on the compliance of my inaction. Sound familiar? No kidding!
The next day, I woke to a schedule of tours. A typical tour day for me involves anywhere from 3 to 6 and sometimes 8 hours of walking (or yoga), meeting and greeting guests, and sharing every aspect of conversation from my heart authentically. It's the only way I can communicate. When I get home, all I can do at times is take a bath and vegetate to recharge my mental and physical batteries.
Yesterday, I met 4 couples that had joined together from my morning walkabout tour at Timber Cove Resort. We had such a nice time, they booked an additional tour with me. We spent almost the whole day, together. Never having met one another before - we acted like old friends. I never mix groups but this tour was the exception.
On this day, I made 8 new friends and those friends also made new friends and I was reminded that I do matter.
I was reminded that I do have value.
I was reminded that my guests have value.
I was reminded that we all contribute to one another.
I was reminded that the Universe has my back.
I was reminded that I have purpose in Life.
I came home and later, as I reflected on my day, I wrote down a thank you note. Thanking the Universe for reminding me that it actually has my back. That with the bad days, comes - always - the good.
Madge Malone in her blogging zone!